With her book and podcast titled ‘How To Be Sad’; Helen Russell, author, podcaster and psychologist, helps us think about Sadness in a completely different way.
Her book is easy to read and full of highly thought provoking notes, all very relatable as written in 2020 during lock-down.
I love in particular how this title says it all: we should not run away from Sadness and as Eckhart Tolle would say : What you resist, persists’. Being amenable to sadness is a great lesson, it means that we acknowledge it, we are willing to feel the sensations of sadness, and we are not scared of it. It carries deep down the belief that if we can be comfortable with sadness, then we deeply trust that this feeling is transient and will pass. Eckhart Tolle also blesses us with another quote about Surrender when he says that ‘Acceptance brings surrender and peace’. Thus, connecting with any emotions carries within it the magical ability to understand their transient nature, whether good or bad emotions. It is helping us navigate the changes that life constantly brings upon ourselves. We think that life is constant, and emotions fluctuates, but life changes all the time too.
Sadness is of course most of the time legit and for this reason we should not try to avoid it, although in the case of grief, everyone reacts differently and processing grief can only be done individually and in their own time.
Sadness and grief are natural responses to the loss of a loved one, whether it’s a person or a pet. Different cultures have different ways of grieving, with some being quiet and private, while others are more vocal and expressive. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, as everyone experiences it differently and for different lengths of time.
During the grieving process, it’s common to feel a range of emotions, such as anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, and sadness.
It can be helpful to listen or read about celebrities talking about their personal experience of grief in the media. For instance, Prince Harry, who lost his mother Princess Diana when he was 12, recently wrote to young people who lost a parent to the pandemic. He acknowledged the loneliness and difficult emotions that can arise during grief, but assured them that the feelings will pass and that they will feel better and stronger when they are ready to talk about it.
Losing someone can leave a big hole in your life, and it’s important to talk to someone you trust about your feelings instead of hiding them away. It’s also important to do things that make you smile, like watching a movie or meeting up with friends. Although your loved one may be gone, your memories and feelings for them will stay with you throughout your life. You can honor their memory by writing a letter, poem, or song, or by creating a picture of them. Sharing your memories with others can also help in the healing process.
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