Helping Children Cope with Change, Challenges, and Tests

Throughout life, children face many new experiences that bring excitement, nerves, and everything in between. Starting a new school, joining a club, moving house, making new friends, or even preparing for tests and exams — all of these moments can feel big and sometimes overwhelming.

Feeling anxious, worried, or stressed during times of change is completely normal. In fact, these feelings show that something matters to you. It’s a sign that you care about doing well, fitting in, or feeling comfortable when things feel unfamiliar.

Why Change and Challenges Feel Hard

Whenever we step into something new or face a challenge like a big test, it’s natural to feel unsure. Our brains are wired to look out for the unfamiliar — it’s part of how we protect ourselves.

But when we name our feelings (“I’m feeling nervous because this is important to me”), it often becomes easier to manage them. Recognising emotions helps them feel less overwhelming. ‘Name it to Tame it' is a phrase I find really useful in my teaching children to show that awareness is the first step towards regulation and change.

Feeling Nervous About Tests is Normal Too

Taking tests and exams is a common challenge children face, in particular at the end of the school year. Since an early age, whether preping for SATs in primary schools, mocks and GCSE in secondary school, or A Levels after . Whether it’s a spelling test, an end-of-year assessment, or a big exam, it’s normal to feel pressure.

Feeling worried about doing well shows you care about your learning. Remember — you are not alone. Many of your classmates will likely be feeling the same way. Tests are simply a way for teachers to understand what you’ve learned so far and to help you grow — they are not a measure of your worth.

Staying Positive When Things Feel Big

When facing a challenge — whether it’s a new school or an important exam — it’s easy to have unhelpful thoughts like, “What if I can’t do it?”

Instead, practice shifting your mindset to a positive such as follows, it really helps thinking in a more balanced way, builds confidence and reduces stress, and exams anxiety.

“I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

“It’s normal to feel nervous — I can handle this.”

Simple Ways to Cope with Big Feelings

  • Breathe deeply: Slow, steady breaths calm the mind and body. Try breathing in for four counts and out for six.

  • Move your body: A walk, some dancing, or stretching can shake off nervous energy and boost your mood.

  • Talk it out: Sharing your feelings with a trusted adult, friend, or family member helps more than you think.

  • Relax your muscles: Try tensing and relaxing different parts of your body to release tension.

  • Write it down: Journaling or doodling about your feelings can help you make sense of them.

If you feel stressed before a test, take a few minutes to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and remember all the ways you have prepared and that you can only do your best.

Celebrate Every Step Forward

When facing a challenge, celebrate your efforts — not just the results. Every time you try something difficult, you are building strength and resilience.

Make a list of past achievements, like learning something new, making a new friend, or bravely facing a test, and practice remembering the feeling of confidence and trust in yourself that you experienced then. This can help you feel ready for current challenges too.

Look After Your Wellbeing

Here are a few reminders to help you feel your best:

  • Get enough sleep: Sleep helps you recharge and process your emotions.

  • Stay active: Movement keeps your body strong and clears your mind.

  • Eat nourishing foods: Balanced meals give you the energy to take on challenges.

  • Take breaks: It’s okay to rest and recharge when things feel overwhelming.

Remember: You Are Not Alone

Everyone experiences ups and downs when life changes or challenges appear. You are not the only one who feels nervous, worried, or unsure sometimes. These emotions don’t mean something is wrong — they mean you are growing.

With time, support, and practice, new experiences become familiar ones, and every challenge — even a tricky test — becomes part of your story of learning and resilience.